 Traditions, Etiquette and Myths
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Ever wondered what the meaning is
behind some wedding traditions and myths?
Hopefully our FAQ's and Answers
on traditions and myths will help you.
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What is the etiquette for the Bestman?
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BESTMAN ETIQUETTE
Probably the most worrying part of the day for the best man is the speeches and its understandable. Here you are at your best friends/brothers wedding day in front of a big crowd of people (most of whom you'll probably know), most likely with a video camera pointing at you and you want to impress them, as it is their big day. Phew, nervous yet? Well don't be because the good thing about it all is that the audience will be rooting for you, they really want to laugh, and even if you don't think your material is that funny you can be assured that they will still laugh at the weakest of jokes.
6 months
Discuss the wedding plans with the bride, groom and chief bridesmaid.
Help to choose the ushers and explain their duties to them.
4 months
Organise the stag party.
Prepare your speech for the reception.
Compile a list of close family members who should have special seating arrangements at the ceremony and share the infomation with the ushers.
Visit the ceremony and the reception venues with the bride and groom to check on timings, parking arrangements etc.
1 week before
Check the groom has all the necessary documents for the ceremony and the honeymoon. Double check their passports and visas.
Attend the wedding rehearsal.
Liaise with the ushers on the final arrangements.
Check for roadworks, diversions, carnivals etc taking place on the wedding day that may effect timings or the route.
Arrange transport for the groom and self to ceremony.
Arrange transport to and from the reception.
Arrange going away car for the bride and groom from the reception if required.
Make a note of details and availability of emergency taxi companies.
Finalise speech.
Have your hair cut.
The day before
Collect any hired clothing and accessories.
Wash car if driving to the ceremony.
Organise decorations for the going away car.
On the day
Check final arrangements for the ushers, buttonholes, order of service sheets and rings.
Collect telemessages, cards and emails to be read at the reception.
Keep the rings safe until the required time in the service.
Help the groom get ready (so be ready before him).
Ensure the groom gets to the church on time, which we advise is at least 20 minutes before the ceremony is due to start.
At the church
Check on the ushers.
Sit on the right hand front pew with the groom.
Witness the signing of the register, if required.
Ensure all fees are paid to the church or registrar.
Escort the chief bridesmaid out of the church.
Assist the photographer in organising the guests for the photographs.
Ensure everyone has transportation to the reception venue.
At the reception
Stand in the receiving line and greet the guests.
Announce the speeches and cake cutting, if there is no Master of Ceremonies or Toastmaster.
Read any cards, emails and telemessages.
Give the third and final speech and reply on behalf of the bridesmaids.
Dance with the chief bridesmaid once the bride and groom have completed their first dance.
Decorate the going away car.
Put any luggage required in the going away car.
Make sure the bride and groom go and change on time and announce to the guests that they are about to depart.
Take charge of the groom's wedding clothes, if required.
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What is the etiquette for the 'Maid of Honour'?
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MAID OF HONOUR ETIQUETTE
The chief bridesmaid is usually a sister or close friend of the bride. However, if she is already married herself or if the bride is a widow and is re-marrying, her title becomes Matron of Honour. She will liaise closely with the bride during all the wedding preparations and help look after the other bridesmaids, flower girl and page boys.
9 months
Help the bride to choose her dress and the bridesmaids dresses.
6 months
Discuss the plans with the bride, groom and best man.
Discuss the dress or outfit with the bride, especially if being made. Ascertain who will pay for the outfit.
1 week before
Confirm final travel arrangements with the best man and any other ushers, including the time of arrival at the church or registry office.
Obtain for the best man a list of family and guests who should be personally escorted to their seats.
Attend the wedding rehearsal if required.
Have your hair cut.
Obtain large umbrellas.
The day before
Collect any hired clothing and accessories.
On the day
Ensure bouquets are ready for the bride, bridesmaids and flower girl.
Help the bride with her hair, make-up and dress.
Help the other bridesmaids, flower girls and page boys to get dressed and give them any final instructions on their duties.
Leave for the ceremony 10 minutes before the bride.
At the church
Arrange the bride's dress and veil.
Follow behind the bride and her father up the aisle.
Hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony.
Witness the signing of the register if required.
Leave the church accompanied by the best man after the bride and groom.
Depart for the reception with any other bridesmaids and best man after the bride and groom.
At the reception
Stand in the receiving line and greet the guests.
Help to display and record gifts received.
Distribute slices of the wedding cake to the guests.
Have the first dance with the best man.
Help the bride change into her going away outfit.
Take care of her dress and accessories if required.
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What is the etiquette for the 'Bridesmaids'?
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BRIDESMAIDS ETIQUETTE
A bridesmaid is usually a sister of the bride or groom or a close friend of the bride. Older bridesmaids will liaise with the bride and chief bridesmaid during the wedding preparations and help with the choice of dresses. Younger ones will not be expect to take an active part in the planning stage but their mothers may get involved instead.
6 months
Discuss the plans with the bride, groom and best man and chief bridesmaid
Discuss the dress or outfit with the bride, especially if being made. Ascertain who will pay for the outfit.
1 week before
Attend the wedding rehearsal if required.
The day before
Collect any hired clothing and accessories.
On the day
Receive any final instructions from the chief bridesmaid.
Get dressed and help any younger attendants.
Leave for the ceremony 10 minutes before the bride.
At the church
Follow behind the chief bridesmaid or matron of honour up the aisle.
Leave the church after the chief bridesmaid.
Depart for the reception with the chief bridesmaid and any other bridesmaids.
At the reception
Stand in the receiving line and greet the guests, if required.
Distribute slices of the wedding cake to the guests.
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What is the etiquette for the 'Ushers'?
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USHERS ETIQUETTE
The ushers are chosen by the groom and his best man and are usually brothers, close relatives or friends (which covers just about anyone!) of the bride and groom. As a general guide you will need an usher for each 50 guests. Traditionally the ushers are the responsibility of the best man, who ensures they know their duties.
4 months
Arrange to purchase or hire clothes and agree who will pay for them.
1 week before
Confirm final travel arrangements with the best man and any other ushers, including the time of arrival at the church or register office.
Obtain for the best man a list of family and guests who should be personally escorted to their seats.
Attend the wedding rehearsal if required.
Have your hair cut.
Obtain large umbrellas.
The day before
Collect any hired clothing and accessories.
On the day
Collect buttonholes and order of service sheets from the brides home.
Arrive at the church at least half an hour before the ceremony is due to start.
At the church
Help with car parking facilities.
Greet the guests and hand out the buttonholes, order of service sheets and maps showing
the route to the reception.
Ensure the officiant has order of service sheets for the bride and groom.
Seat couples with young babies and children near the exit.
Escort the brides mother and appropriate guests to their seats.
Assist the photographer.
Ensure the church is left tidy and check for any left property and unused order of service sheets.
Ensure all guests have transport to the reception.
At the reception
Assist with car parking facilities.
Offer drinks to the guests as they arrive if appropriate.
Assist any elderly or infirm guests.
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What is the meaning behind the saying, "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue"?
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This saying dates back to Victorian time and the full version is 'something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in her shoe:
Something Old:
Represents the link with the bride's family and the past. A common solution many bride's choose is to wear a piece of family jewellery or their mother's or grandmother's wedding dress.
Something New:
Represents good fortune and success in the bride's new life. The wedding dress is often chosen as the new item.
Something Borrowed:
To remind the bride that friends and family will be there for her when help is needed. The borrowed object might be something such as a lace handkerchief or an item of jewellery.
Something Blue:
Symbolises faithfulness and loyalty and dates back to biblical times when blue represented purity. Frequently the bride's garter is the blue item.
A Silver Sixpence in her Shoe is to wish the bride wealth, both financial and happiness.
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Why do brides wear veils?
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The wedding veil hides the bride's beauty and wards off evil spirits. Another explanation is that during the times of arranged marriages the bride's face would be covered until the groom had commited to the marriage.
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What other myths are there for getting married?
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It is considered bad luck for the bride to sign her married name before the wedding as it tempts fate.
The bride shouldn't make her own dress:
For every stitch of the wedding dress the bride sews herself she'll shed one tear during her marriage.
The Wedding Dress.
Married in White You have chosen right.
Married in Blue Your lover is true.
Married in Pink Your fortunes will sink.
Married in Green You will not long be seen.
Married in Red You'll wish you were dead.
Married in Yellow Ashamed of the fellow.
Married in Brown You'll live out of town.
Married in Grey You'll live far away.
Married in Black You'll wish you were back.
The Wedding Day.
Monday for health,
Tuesday for wealth,
Wednesday's the best of all.
Thursday brings crosses,
And Friday losses,
But Saturday - no luck at all.
On the way to the church:
It is fortunate for a bride to meet a lamb, a dove, a spider, or a black cat on her way to church: but a pig or funeral are bad omens, and country brides fear the crowing of a cock after dawn of the wedding day. It is also fortunate that if on the journey to the church the bride sees a policeman, clergyman, doctor or a blind man. The groom should give a coin to the first person he sees on his journey to the church for good luck.
Time of day to get married:
The couple should exchange vows as the clock's minute hand is "ascending towards heaven" (i.e. upwards).
Dominating influence:
If a bride wishes to be the dominating influence in her married life, she must be the first to buy something after the marriage. The best way to ensure this is to buy a pin from the chief bridesmaid when changing into her travelling costume. (Sorry grooms we don't think a round of drinks counts!)
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